the impassant result of thinking

the impassant result of thinking

sometimes i have a thought which doesn't come to me in a formal sentence contained with words.
it comes to me in a form which begins in a place before words, then is continued by words when the words are abandoned.
they are formed from a pulse which begins then ends before it begins,
then after it ends the rest of it comes, as one would see it as the seconds pass.
it is as if i know it before it is remembered;

the thought is at once a beacon, then the absence of all light,
as though it takes an infinite abandon to know the simplest truth.
the light is not light, it is only light as it dragged across the canvas of that which is completely abandoned.
i would sail across the sea of that distenuation, as a ship which has no compass;
as a ship sailing i would wait for a beacon.
when the beacon shines, then i would know: then also i would not know.

below the stars the wind sings and is not alone in that singing.
the other singing comes simply from belowness;
it is not a shallow hymn.
the words hear themselves then are spoken;
and the spoken words are like a veil to that which is meant.
the sea swells and envelopes the words;
the sand is the spongy form,
that is imprinted by the swelling.

i wish it weren't so blatantly revealed in the stark absence from meaning present in the lone horizon of abundance.
the course grit hurtles absence and uncomfort toward an opening letter,
then a gushing froth and full some quaint resilience.
there is no meaning, only resistance then the abandonment of resistance.
when there is complete abandon,
the absence of meaning is clear, like a lake where there is no water;
there is no ripple: time passes without knowing.

as the memory of it ceases to linger i also cease to remember.
like water over present rocks, the dream passes and leaves me impressed,
like the sand which passes under ocean.
there is something which remains, like that which lingers after fear,
i am here waiting to see the full thing which is revealed.
while i wait the ocean passes over the sand.